you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
Randomize
