we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
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