I'd wear matching sweaters with you
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
Randomize
