I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
