it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Randomize
