Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
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