how could I be having a bad time, I have the three most important things in life: Goat cheese, Xanax, and Saved By the Bell Re-runs.
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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