We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
I need to sanitize my soul.
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
Randomize
