all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
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