We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
Randomize
