I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
high people should be assigned attendants
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
Randomize
