Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
We left the knife in your bed.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize