Just fell off a train. Bad.
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
