I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
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