am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
Randomize
