ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Randomize
