Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
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