Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
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