you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Randomize
