I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
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