I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
