Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
whose ass print is on the piano?
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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