What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
Randomize
