My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
Randomize
