I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
17 year olds will be the death of me.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
Randomize