just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
Randomize