We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
