also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
Randomize
