North Korea, Best Korea!
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
Randomize
