I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
Randomize
