Walk of Shame. In a state park.
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
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