I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
Randomize
