I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
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