Only a mothe r could love this liver
So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
Randomize
