we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
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