accomplished twins. life is a go
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize