ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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