People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
Randomize
