Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
