Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
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