just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
