How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
Randomize
