We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
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