well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
Randomize