If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
Randomize