So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
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