i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize
