i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
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