so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
Randomize
