I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
Randomize
