When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Randomize
