But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
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