i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
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