We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
Randomize
