I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
Randomize
