Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
Randomize
