I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
